Posted in: Love and Sex, Tattle

I’m fit and intelligent but can’t get a date. Should I give up? | Ask Philippa Perry

After trying so long, your wariness is understandable, says Philippa Perry. But remember you’re not shopping – you’re looking for a person to relate to

The question I’ve had some short relationships, been on many dates, and had one long-term relationship (a while ago now) where I was dumped on the day before we planned to get married. I put a lot of effort into online dating, but the final straw was sending quality personal messages to 47 different women over six months and receiving nil positive replies. I’m in my late 50s, slim, fit, tall, of average and conventional appearance, articulate, humorous and intelligent.

From hard work and living modestly, I have been able to retire and now volunteer for a charity – the task is mainly helping the sick and disabled. I also co-run a local social group for get-togethers and outings to help not only me, but others, to meet people. I discount those who are too old, those who I wouldn’t go on a see-saw with, and women who say, “Done that and got the T-shirt” about relationships – and there’s rarely anyone left.

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