Posted in: Love and Sex, Tattle

I love my husband – but his sexual limitations are blighting our marriage

I’ve tried showing him what I like in bed, but it hasn’t helped, and now I actively avoid sex. After 12 years of an otherwise wonderful partnership, I don’t know what else to do

My husband was not sexually experienced when we met. He was not a virgin but hadn’t had a long-term relationship to learn the art of intimacy. He was self-conscious about this and I told him that we had the rest of our lives to figure it out. I’ve tried showing him what I like in books, films, articles, and with toys. I’m not asking a lot, but it seems that the second he’s in the act, everything we have discussed is forgotten. I usually get frustrated, so I take the reins to end the interaction as quickly as I can.

He climaxes then rolls over and goes to sleep leaving me upset and unsatisfied. I now actively avoid sex with my husband. I have the sexual desire and masturbate two to three times a week to get a release. I wish I didn’t have to. I feel guilty that I am the only one allowed to be intimate with him and am not fulfilling my duty as a wife and a sex partner. I love my husband with all my heart. All other aspects of our life together are wonderful. His pride means he refuses therapy. Even talking about this is insulting to him. But, after 12 years, I don’t know what else to do. Do you have any advice?

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